


Strange & Deranged

by Hekate1308



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Human Dean Winchester, Inspired by Addams Family, M/M, demon Crowley
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-14
Updated: 2019-02-14
Packaged: 2019-10-28 03:21:48
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,013
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17779631
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hekate1308/pseuds/Hekate1308
Summary: By now, everyone knew better than to disturb the mayor of their small town during his lunch break, so when three distinct knocks rang out, Dean sighed and drew back from his husband. “Guess we have to see what’s going on.”“Oh, I am sure they can handle it, darling” Crowley drawled, trying to kiss him again.Drowley Addams Family AU.





	Strange & Deranged

**Author's Note:**

> Yes, this is as self-indulgent as you think it is. Enjoy!

By now, everyone knew better than to disturb the mayor of their small town during his lunch break, so when three distinct knocks rang out, Dean sighed and drew back from his husband. “Guess we have to see what’s going on.”

“Oh, I am sure they can handle it, darling” Crowley drawled, trying to kiss him again.

“You are incorrigible.”

“And that is why you married me.”

Dean couldn’t very well deny it, but that wasn’t the point right now. “I am ready to bet that was Cas, and you know he only ever disturbs us when there’s an emergency.”

Crowley sighed. “You’re no fun when you’re being the voice of reason, Squirrel.”

“I am always fun, and you know it”. Dean quickly kissed him again, then re-arranged his clothing.

When he opened the door, Cas said, “I am sorry to disturb you, but we have a problem –“

“Yes, yes, I know, Apollo 13” Dean answered.

“I don’t understand that reference.”

“Of course you don’t. So while Crowley is busy pulling his pants up, why don’t you tell me what’s going on?”

The only answer to his corresponding grin was an unimpressed look.

* * *

“I told you it was nothing.”

“Crowley, a potential dam failure isn’t nothing. We’re lucky we managed to stop it.”

“If you say so” the demon replied lightly and Dean rolled his eyes.

“You’re just disappointed your lunch break was cut short.”

“What gave it away?” he asked, his hands settling on Dean’s hips.

“Oh, for God’s sake, can’t you two behave for five minutes?”

Dean sighed and once more stepped away from his husband. “Can you blame me, Sammy?”

The expression of their town’s sheriff seemed to suggest that he could and would indeed blame him for making him arrest them for indecent exposure. “The reporters are going to be here in just a few minutes, and…”

“Fine, fine, Samantha, don’t get your panties in a twist” Dean said. “We’re behaving, see?”

“Speak for yourself” Crowley said, his eyes changing to red because the bastard knew damn well it turned Dean on.

“Oh you –“

“Yes?” he asked innocently.

“You two are going to be the death of me” Sam sighed. “Aren’t you supposed to be getting back to school, anyway?”

Sadly, it was true, and so Dean kissed Crowley goodbye – maybe a bit more passionately than was appropriate, but what was the point if he couldn’t annoy his brother with his perfect marriage now and then? – and went on his way.

* * *

He only remembered it was Valentine’s Day when Charlie exclaimed, “Is that a hickey, Winchester? Have to say, I am not surprised, considering the date.”

Quite frankly, it was never a surprise when Dean showed up top work covered in hickeys, but one of the benefits of being the principal was that no one was there to judge him for it. “I just had lunch with my husband.”

She hummed. “ _Were_  the lunch, more likely.”

“Charlie Bradbury! Go look after your students!”

“Aye, aye boss”. She skipped past him with a cheeky grin on her face.

Sometimes, working with his closest friends wasn’t as much fun as Dean has always assumed it was going to be, but at the same time, he wouldn’t trade it for anything.

* * *

When he came home that evening, he was surprised when neither of the children made an appearance as soon as he opened the door. Normally, they cam running as soon as he showed up. “Emma? Gavin?” he called out.

Nothing. But there was soft classical music playing somewhere, and –

Oh. A trail of candles was leading from the front door towards the dining room.

Dean grinned.

This was going to be fun.

* * *

Crowley was awaiting him in the suit he had proposed to him ten years ago, the old softie.

“Hello there” Dean drew him into a kiss. “Are those your home-made burgers?”

“Yes. Since I have married someone with the appetite of a toddle, I have to bear the consequences.”

“Now, now, Mister, do you want to get lucky tonight or not?”

Crowley grinned, his eyes turning red again. “Oh, I do want to, and I will. You know I always get my way in the end.”

Dean just kissed him again as an answer then asked, “Where are the kids?”

“Cas took them to Charlie’s.”

Where they would no doubt get spoiled rotten. “Ah, so they helped?” Dean asked, indicating the roses and – was that a champagne fountain? On display.

Crowley hummed. “I originally planned the evening to include torturing our enemies, but Castiel assured me my esteemed brother-in-law wouldn’t have liked it.”

“He definitely wouldn’t have” Dean agreed. “I guess we’re stuck with torturing each other again.”

“Oh?” Crowley’s raised eyebrow was definitely a challenge, but Dean’s stomach was rumbling.

“Later, Casanova. I have to eat first.”

He sighed. “Serves me right for marrying a human with low stamina.”

“I am going to be showing off my stamina real soon” Dean grinned. “Just let me eat first.”

Crowley sighed again, but there was a sparkle in his eyes that Dean knew only too well.

* * *

“Now, what do you have to say about my stamina?” Dean sked quite some time later.

Crowley rolled over and looked down at him. “The night’s still young, Winchester.”

“I see” he complained, “Once the ring is on and you have two kids, the romance is gone. Is that how it is?”

“Says the man I just watched gobble down ten cheeseburgers against my better judgement.”

“It was five cheeseburgers, and you ate something too.”

“I snacked. There’s a difference.”

“If you say so, Peaches.” Dean hummed. “Mind, a little bit of torturing our enemies would have been nice…”

“Told him.”

“Well” Dean said with a grin, “I will just have to focus on torturing you instead.”

* * *

The next morning, Dean was woken up by a text from Charlie.  _Hey you two, I’ll be keeping the tow trouble makers until lunch time. God knows you need time to get it out of your system for a few hours at least._

“Seems like we have the morning for us” he announced just as Crowley materialized in front of him carrying a tablet.

“Is that so?”

“Oh yes” he happily accepted the offered breakfast. “Say, Crowley…”

“Yes?”

“Last night, you were completely unhinged. Every bit the scary demon people always assume you are. You downright scared me. Do me a favour?”

“Yes?”

Dean grinned. “As soon as I have finished these crepes… Do it again?”

* * *

It was a very happy Dean Winchester who all but skipped up the steps to Charlie’s house on this Saturday morning.

“Alright, I’m not even going to ask” Charlie said. “It’s pretty obvious someone had –“

“Dad!” The two children ran up to him and he quickly thank to his knees. “Did you have fun with Aunt Charlie?”

“Oh yes, and Uncle Cas stopped for dinner!”

Dean doubted that. In all the time he had known him, he had never seen him eat.

“I drew a picture. Look” Emma said proudly and held it out.

Huh. For a seven-year-old, she really did know how to draw her witch burnings. Dean showed himself duly impressed.

“And then we played car crash!” Gavin exclaimed, happily dancing around them.

There was a reason they loved staying with their Aunt Charlie. Uncle Sam usually tried to explain that car crashes were actually rather tragic and tended to cause people to die, which was little fun. Thankfully he and Aunt Sarah then came up with other games for them to play.

“Sounds like a lot of fun” he said, ruffling his hair.

“Yes! Did you and Father have fun too?” he asked.

“Oh, I bet” Charlie said.

“Yes we did” Dean said firmly. He spent his whole life being very very unapologetic about his marriage, he wasn’t going to feel ashamed about it in front of his children.

* * *

When he arrived home, he knew immediately something was amiss. One downside of marrying a demon was that their environment was magically affected by his moods, and the air around the house was cackling with static. If Crowley got any angrier, they’d have a storm on their hands.

Granted, that usually meant rather fun times for all of them, but the neighbours tended to complain eventually.

And so Dean left the children with Cas, who had returned from his day off, and went to see his husband.

He was currently on the phone, looking like he was ready to reach through it and strangle whoever he was talking to. “How dare you” he hissed. “I am perfectly capable of attracting –“

Dean thought it best to alert him to his presence since it usually calmed him down and he stepped up to him and gently laid a hand on his forearm.

Crowley’s eyes flashed up to him and he relaxed marginally. “You are lucky. My husband just came home. Do you want to talk to him about how I am holding him captive with my demon magic?”

Oh God. It was indeed lucky that he had returned. He quickly took the phone oust of Crowley’s hand. “Hello, Dean Winchester speaking.”

“Hello, Mr. Winchester.” He rolled his eyes. And he’d believed his husband sounded aggressively British when he wanted to. “My name is Arthur Ketch and I am with the Franklin Gazette. I was wondering if you were ready to comment on our upcoming story claiming that you were ensnared into marriage by –“

Seriously? Ensnared? He could only roll his eyes again. “Alright, listen, mister. I don’t care if you believe me or not, but I knew exactly who and what I was marrying hen I said yes. Yes, he’s a demon, and he can be a damn bastard when he wants to be. But he’s also romantic, kind and charming – again, when he wants to be. And he’s great damn good in bed to boot. He also tends to kill anyone who insults me or our children. I would tell you to be careful but frankly I am not concerned for your well-being at all. So now do me the favour and go to hell.” He hung up. “Is this going to be a problem?”

Crowley shrugged. “I was elected, so I have to assume people like me. And anyone who has seen us two together cannot possibly believe that you married me against your own free will.”

Damn right. And while they had been careful what information to release to the panic, Dean and the kids had figured prominently in Crowley’s successful re-election campaign. So really, this was just a storm in the water glass.

“I mean we can always deal with him if he annoys us too much…” his husband began hopefully.

“And have Sam bitch about it for the next ten years?”

He sighed. “Having the town sheriff for a brother-in-law is not the advantage I picture it to be.”

“So that’s why you proposed. You just wanted to use me to get to Sammy.”

“And what if I had?”

“Then, Crowley” Dean said carefully, reacting out and trailing a hand down his tie, “You need to be punished.” His voice dropped. “The children are with Cas.”

“Well then” Crowley drawled, “You may try to punish me although I doubt you’ll succeed.”

“Oh I have a lot of practice” he smirked.

* * *

Later that day, Dean was watching Crowley, Emma and Gavin play football in their yard, although he always thought that Crowley using his demon powers was unfair. The kids didn’t seem to mind, though.

Cas carried a fresh pitcher of lemonade out on the terrace. “Hey Cas. Come on, have a glass yourself.”

Their kind-of-butler-slash-kind-of-maid-slash-klind-of-nanny-slash-kind-of-roommate-slash-guy-whose-car-had-broken-down-in-town-one-day-and-who-had-apparently-randomly-decided-to-stay complied, although once again, Dean didn’t see him actually drink. The glass was empty after a few minutes, though.

“Your and Crowley’s Valentine celebration seems to have been… pleasant” Cas eventually said.

“Oh, hell yeah” Dean said, grinning at his husband, “It was.”

Alright, if he was being honest, so were most of their nights – and days – but that didn’t mean some couldn’t be more special than others now, could it?


End file.
